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Wow.
It's the morning after.
Finally.
No more pimping for votes.
No more refusing to pay the pizza dude until he agrees that I am, indeed, America's Next Best Celler.
Oh. Did I just put that in print?
Why, yes. I guess I did.
So with that particular skeleton out of the closet, it's fess up time here at Texting Between the Sheets.
Just how big of a vote tart are you?
The commenter with the best confession wins a e-copy of my (ultra steamy)Christmas novella from Red Sage Publishing, Believe.
The only rule to play is you must have participated in Dorchester Publishing's Next Best Celler contest at Textnovel.
For readers, we'll have a contest later on today!
OK, girls. Spill it. How low did you go?
Yeah,baby, it's the diva version of the limbo!
Leave your most shameful vote tarting moment in comments.
Our brand new textnovel divas, Valorie Dorr and Courtney Sheets will pick the winners tomorrow because...I said so!
To ALL of you who participated in the Next Best Celler Contest, major congrats are in order. This is your party, too. You put your hearts and souls and stories out there and did your level best to build a readership.
And we all did just that.
In my mind, all that heart goes a long way toward making each of us next best sellers.
Oh, so how low did I really go? Well, for one, I refused to let my daughter's boyfriend take her to a movie until he found me a voter.
OK. Three voters.
Yeah, I know. ::hangs head:: I chalk it up to CVTS - Compulsive Vote Tarting Syndrome.
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2 years ago
31 comments:
I asked everyone from my child's teacher to a personal message to EVERY SINGLE facebook friend! What a tart I am! Oh and did I mention, I begged too?
Let's see, I made friends with some bullies I had in high school on facebook and guilt tripped them into voting, I worked textnovel into EVERY conversation I had with people (both strangers and friends)for the last 5 months, and I refused to feed guests at my house until they had voted for the Textnovel Divas. My poor hubby was denied "helping me with research" for my novel until he voted for all of us. Oh, yeah, and I joined some crazy textnovelists in a blog.
LOL Christiana! OMG, you spammed? *g*. And here I thought you were such a nice girl. Every facebook friend??? Heh, got writer's cramp? Serves ya right! :D
Robin, I can forgive you everything but the blog. Now girl, that was *low*. Imagine, running in a pack with a bunch of divas. Um...yeah, I hear ya on the DH part. :)
I did nothing, my story is just that good. ;-)
Seriously, I worked off the six degrees of separation theory, spammed everyone on my emial address book, then did follow up calls and made them spam everyone in THEIR email address book and so forth.
Though I think I'm deleting my in-laws; they never bothered to even look @ textnovel in spite of my continued, "No really, the site doesn't spam." But I do ;-) That's 12 Votes/ Subscriptions I'm out! That's it, I'm burning Thanksgiving dinner
I *am* a Compulsive Vote Tart. I suppose admitting it is the first step... to implementing my evil genius plan. bwahahaa! That was out loud again, wasn't it?
I was like the Godfather and activated my favor tree with my buddies from the prison. I have used this tree to replace parts on my car, help with all that crap that your kid carts home to sell and other such activities. You should all know that I lost hardass points that I worked really hard to get. Once, I had my finger caught in a cell door and I didn't cry or scream. I cussed a lot and I worked the rest of the shift with a broken finger and I was half-blind in one eye where my hairspray had melted off of my bangs in the 115 degree heat and run into said eye. Anyway, each time, I got a "You wrote this? Really? Hey, you're really a girl." Uh, yeah? One of my friends actually spit beer on me when I pulled it up on his computer for him. He laughed and laughed. Until I gut-punched him.I think I got a point back for that, but he was still giggling a little bit. That man always was a glutton for punishment. His wife told me to hit him harder. *wink*
I took my laptop to the nursing home where I have family. I almost didn't get it back, they were having so much fun.
I accosted people out in public that I saw with romance novels. "If you like this, well maybe you'll read this" and I gave out business cards that had the TN info on it.
I took cookies into the husband's second job and wouldn't let anyone have any until they voted. My cookies are well-loved.
I spammed my entire facebook and myspace network.
I wrote in a cameo for my opera singer friend so he would pimp it to his friends. And to bring attention to his cause too. Fine, I'll leave that part in.
I'm already the weird writer woman living out here in the holler, but that didn't stop me, no. Anyone blocking my driveway with a tractor got a card or here's the best one yet...
I answered the door and phone when it was salesman or telemarketers and told them I would listen to their spiel after they listened to mine AND voted for me. I had some hang up and I oh-my-god called them back. I told the Mormon missionaries that I would look at their book if they would look at mine. *hangs head*
Oh, and I read almost every freaking story on Textnovel and commented. My eyes almost crossed. Of course, on the plus side, my to be read pile has not moved since August because I'm caught up with all the stories on TN, but still...
OMG, Saranna - those poor Mormon missionaries may never have been the same again after reading your book! The title alone probably threw them into a downward spiral of guilt!
I know! I almost called the Jehovah's Witnesses to come on out, but I had to draw the line somewhere.
The missionaries were actually pretty cool. They said if it would get me to read their literature then it had to be a good thing. I almost felt guilty. Until I remembered all of the cute boys that would come and talk to the girls, 12 and 13 yr old girls, promising dates to get them to go to church with them for 6 hours on Sunday.
There's a room full of Mormons somewhere praying for Saranna's immortal soul right now!
"Be gone, Satan! Leave this child In peace!"
I did the same thing with reading every story on textnovel, commenting then sending author a private message about what I liked in the story then added this.
Bet this looks familiar ;-)
Also, I wanted to invite you to read Redeeming Characters. It's the story of a bestselling author who's lost her mojo and the man that got away.
http://www.textnovel.com/stories_list_detail.php?story_id=1609
All comments/ feedback are most welcome. Votes and subscriptions too, of course!
Happy Reading!
Jenn
Actually saved it in word so I didn't have to retype it every single time.
Ahh, yes, I think almost everyone on textnovel has a vote from me. I gave everyone a vote if they had a novel up. It takes guts just to get it out there. However, if I started reading the novel and I forgot I even had kids to feed (happened when I read Gail's. True story. DH comes over, taps me on the shoulder and asks "Don't you hear them calling for you?" I look down and there are my two ankle biters, crying for snack time. Didn't even hear them!) I subscribed. I followed any TN writer that voted for me. I made the TN $ Facebook rounds. I have over 900 friends on facebook because of the games. They all received a message from me. And an invite to my voting event on facebook. *sigh*
I think Saranna harassing the Mormons is my winner for our voting limbo contest.
Thanks, Robin. But I can't win since I'm already a Diva. Not that I wouldn't love a copy of Liane's next release...
Not that you don't know that... I am so slow this morning. It's like I have contest-tart-hangover. Gah.
Hmmm, I called my cousin, a B-ball hooper. Since he missed the last 3family reunions, he better get other players to vote on my romance Death Waylaid, after giving them a few beers.
And since my ex, for some strange reason, wants to get back with me, I told him I'd think about it. If he introduced 3 people to my story, and they had to vote and subscribe too. Other than that, I wouldn't even think about it. Still said "No" the next day...
OMG, Jennifer, my inlaws didn't vote for me either. I didn't do too much of the email spamming, but I swear I read every story on textnovel and then some. I found voters in weird places, truly a hodge podge, but nobody was safe from my pitch bwah ha ha haaaaaa.
Oh, and because my story was *that* good. *snort*
OK, girls, fess up.
Who is the author you most wanted to hate? For me, it was a three way. So I asked 'em to blog with me LOL. I mean, the reason I wanted to hate them is because their talent blew me away. That, and I figured it best to keep the competition close at hand. Didn't expect I'd come to like them so much.
Yo, Saranna, toss me one of those dental picks, will ya? The sugar is clinging to my dental work. :D
I got 'em handy! *tosses to Liane*
I didn't ASK my inlaws...even I have standards!
I'm an equal opportunity hater.
Liane--Because you somehow managed to beat me to the comments on every new story.
Robin--Because I thought I was the only real talent spawned in Sullivan County.
Saranna--Because youe snark is so much sharper than mine
Gail--Because you're the nice Hart girl in the contest.
Courtney--Because you have a better range than I ever could.
Valorie--Because I want your Highlander!
Cheryl and Lillie--Because you both already had some serious platform kicking.
Candi--Because you had not one, not two but three great stories in the top 20
Christiana--Because you wrote death all sexy-like
The Vamp people--Because I don't know where you came from!
Shall I continue?
Oh! K.J.-- Because you have more auto followers that I do!
Lori--Because you should have made it to top 20, Ug Sweets rules and I feel like I'm in your spot.
But at the end of the day I don't hate anyone, just wish you never heard about this contest!
I harassed, threatened and begged all the people I work with. I work in a large hotel so there were a lot of people to chase down. The easy ones were my servers. "What section did you say you wanted tonight?" "You want Halloween off?" "What day did you need off for your wedding?"
The hardest pigeons were housekeeping. Since I had no hold over them, I had to resort to the standby... begging tactics. Unfortunately, they didn't understand a word I was saying. I don't speak spanish so the words were lost in translation.
Some of the guest service agents would actually hide from me. I'd see them duck for cover when I'd walk through the lobby. They wouldn't get far. How could I possibly let them them off the hook when they sat in front of the computer with time on their hands to read.
As a bartender I have a lot of regulars. Now these aren't your everyday run of the mill neighborhood regulars. They are Corporate heads. Union bosses for the airlines business travelers. I bored them to death until they agree to go to textnovel and read my story for themselves. Unfortunately it's hard to get drunks to understand how to register at textnovel.
I wavered about talking to my Big bosses. The two who run the hotel. I try to stay clear of them. Out of sight, out of mind. I've felt the blister of their whip and didn't like it much. One night the head honcho was in the bar drinking (a lot) and she kept asking me what was wrong. "Nothing," I said. She was like a dog with a bone. She wouldn't let up until I said something. So I did. I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Okay, you want to know what's bothering me? I need votes. I need them bad." When I explained to her what the voting was all about, she took a genuine interest in it. In the end I told her about raising $ for autism and her eyes teared up. She said, "Val, my son has autism and so do I." She ended up not getting the opportunity to read or vote for me because of textnovel's gliches but I think I made a fan anyway.
Robin - That has to be the absolute best compliment I've ever gotten as a writer! Thank you!
I don't have any really good pimping for votes stories. I'm afraid I was rather timid and respectable {hangs head in shame}.
I did leave some flyers in my old sorority house when I was back on campus for a reunion. And of course, I e-mailed all the reunion-goers asking then to vote.
Gail. Sweetie. We gotta talk. LOL! Goodness.
Christiana, I'm so glad you came over to play with us today, too. I'm going to put up some more craziness for the after six crowd, so stay tuned.
Jenn. Don't be jealous. I have no life outside of this house LOL!
Oh, and we have a contest winner to announce for the Kindle, too! :) Yes, all bribes accepted. ;)
Jenn--Just to make you feel better, I was only raised in Sullivan County. I was an 8 yr old implant from Long Island who had to take speech 'cause the locals couldn't understand me when I said "Ball". You can have Sullivan County all to yourself :)
I never really hated any one. I was insanely jealous, and slightly snide, but never hateful. In fact, my DH teases me about my reaction when Saranna DM'd me on twitter. ("They like me, they REALLY like me!" My hands were shaking!)
My In-Laws are too old to vote. I'd have to introduce them to the keyboard, first. We only had 5 months, for cripes sake.
Jen don't hate me for my range. I just have a tendency to be scattered and it comes out in my work. Not always a good thing..LOL
Some of these comments are really good. Val and I are going to have a hard time choosing a winner!
KJ. OMG. LOL. I'm dying here.
WHy didn't I call me ex? What was I thinking? He'd take me back in NY minute LOL. Ewwwwwwwwwwww....the things we do.
Jennifer- Your list was so long, but I felt some of the same things.
Robin-Of course we really like you! *laughs*
KJ- Hehee. The ex card. Yeah, I did that too. Not the get back together thing, but that was really deviously wonderful of you. I used the for old time's sake and I was really good in... something I'm not going to say here. *g*
Okay, let's get this out of the way first... WHAT THE HECK IS TAKING SO LONG???
Now I feel better!
So how low did I go - well after realizing that my inlaws were also not going to vote for me, I decided to bury my introverted self and become - a vote tart!!!
My neighbors, sweet older couple, didn't have internet, no clue really, ao I invited them over for coffee and gave them a lesson on the computer... yeah, they voted. I'm scum, really!
But when I took my laptop to one f my kids basketbal practices and asked all the parents to check it out and vote, DH decided he needed to put an end to my tarting ways. LMAO - little did he know that I had scout meetings, board meetings, and alternate sporting events that I tarted at. In the end, he even tarted for me. Hubby's don't stand a chance. When will they learn?
Can't say I hated anyone. Honestly, I was a bit shocked at the talent that I found at TN. It was almost enough that I didn't know if I wanted to keep going. I'm glad I did, and I've met some amazing people along the way.
But boy - am I glad it's over. At least this portion!
*snort* I have to say, beyond the fact you are all talented writers, I think I love you all even more because of reading all this! LOL
Saranna--I absolutely ADORE you--trading hard-earned street-cred to get votes... AWESOME! I've also hit salespeople with my own sales pitches (and educated members of other religions with information about mine :). You rock!
The rest of you--wow! Aren't we all just a tangle of trouble!
And those of you who didn't get in-laws to vote, just chalk it up to the Textnovel norm. Last year the same thing happened to me (and my in-laws are usually VERY supportive). Ah, well. ;-)
Liane--Great idea for this post!
~Shannon
CANDI! You're the winner of my ebook, Believe. I'll send you an email to get your prize to you!
I can't say when was the last time I've laughed so hard! You guys are amazing! And, I must say, incredibly creative!
I found the link to this blog on the textnovel comments section of their winning post announcement - thanks for posting it Liane!
I came in late in the game and haven't had a chance to get to know all of you yet, but reading this blog has been terrific. You all have such witty and funny personalities and you carry your voices over amazingly in your writing.
I'm honored I was included in the top 21.
Okay - on to my vote-tarting. I had a lot to catch up for, you guys had racked up a lot of votes and all have some pretty damn terrific stories. I've never been popular in my whole life, but my recent 20th highschool reunion left me with a ton of facebook contacts.
I wrote to almost every single one of them, plus my family and anyone else in my address book I could find. I posted on my fan page and begged people on their birthdays (after I wished them a happy b-day).
I started to get increasingly desperate and by the time I was on the cusp of the 20th spot I couldn't sleep at night. Oct 30th rolled around and I had a dinner party with 25 people. It took hours to set up and all I could think of with this darn contest.
I decided that if people wanted to eat my food (it was a nine-pot fondue party and was awesome) and drink my booze that they had to vote. I prepped them ahead of time with an email and told them I'd be checking user ID's that night.
And I did. And it worked.
I also threatened to have my lap top set up at the door and they wouldn't get in without voting first. I'm not proud of it. But they way I look at it is this - if they all want to celebrate with me when it gets published (even if it's not this contest it will someday) then shouldn't they put their fingers where their mouth is and VOTE?
That's what real friends would do, right? The timing of the party was not pre-planned. It was Halloween and I sent the invites out 5 weeks prior - it just happened to work out and I'm glad it did.
My new motto "No vote, no party for you!"
Wishing you all the best in the next round.
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