YA Culture: Stalk in the Name of Love?

*Please note: I'm putting on my devil horns and pulling out my briefcase--Yep. Playing Devil's advocate today. So take out your salt shaker and be prepared to take all this with at least a grain or two of the white stuff. ;-)

Question: Does the current YA culture encourage an acceptance and even deification of the stalker mentality?

My brother and I were recently talking about *this and he (having that pesky male perspective ;-) brought up the fact that while some of his Twilight hating friends are quick to jump on the stalker bandwagon, some admit to remembering other movies from their youth as amazingly romantic--movies where the guy was "devoted," "reckless" and "intense."

Remember the 1989 movie Say Anything with John Cusack?

I sure do. Remember that moment when Lloyd stood outside Diane's house and blared "In Your Eyes" in a tribute of his love and devotion? Wasn't that romantic?

Eh, not so much from a legal view point. That romantic hero could have definitely been tossed in the clink for stalking. Diane had just broken up with him, after all.

In the 1967 movie The Graduate Dustin Hoffman's character stalks Elaine and disrupts her wedding. Romantic? Not so much... But a classic, right? Of course, there aren't probably many tweens and teens watching *it.*

In the Twilight series a heck of a hullaballoo has been raised over vampire Edward's stalker-like tendencies. He watches Bella sleep, he shows up in her room without her permission, etc. As much as I enjoyed *many* aspects of the Twilight saga, there were moments alarm bells went off in my head because Edward was a bit too intense in his devotion. And yet that "intensity" is rewarded with Bella's love.

It makes me wonder if any guys get mixed signals as a result. I mean, you show up in places uninvited occasionally at generally inappropriate times and you get the girl. Errr... Hmm. And from the girl's perspective are we accidentally sending the message that if a guy stares at you and invades what you may consider as your privacy (um, bedroom) it just means he *really* likes you?

For my age group (and there are many of us who enjoyed Twilight for exactly the reasons it should be enjoyed) we have enough life experience to know that in real life even hunky Edward would freak us out if he pulled the same behaviors he did with Bella. I mean, there's flattery and then there's obsession, right? ;-)

Of course, when we were teens (mumble-mumble years ago) we had a waaay different view of the world, right? Emotions ran high (right along with the hormones) and everything we felt we felt SO very deeply.

Now, old and jaded, I wonder.

And the music I'm hearing more recently makes me wonder, too.

Lady GaGa's recent hit Paparazzi (which is quite catchy) has a few lines that freak me out:

I'll follow you until you love me.

And:
But I won't stop until that boy is mine. (There are a couple more, but fair use and all that ;-).

And even Taylor Swift (whom I adore) has a song called The Other Side of the Door with the following lines:
I said, "Leave," but all I really want is you To stand outside my window, throwing pebbles, screaming, "I'm in love with you."

And she sings it beautifully!

Love's complicated and confusing--I get that. Crushes are even worse (there's a reason they're called "crushes").

So should we as authors (or song writers or whatever) reduce the width, breadth or depth of the worlds we create and the characters that inhabit them to worry about people whose distinction between reality and fiction may not be a clear and clean line?

At what point do we need to censor our freedom of expression for the safety of our impressionable youth?

~Shannon-the-Ever-Curious


*Yes, such conversations are frequent in my family. ;-)